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Chemicals That
Make You Feel Love
by Anne Marie
Helmenstine, Ph.D.
According
to Dr. Helen Fisher, a researcher at Rutgers University, chemistry and love are
inextricable.
She's
not speaking, though, of the "chemistry" that makes two people compatible.
Instead,
she's speaking of the chemicals that are released into our bodies as we
experience lust, attraction, and attachment.
Chemicals in
Each Stage of Love
We
may think that we're using our heads to govern our hearts, but in fact (at
least to a degree) we're simply responding to the chemicals that help us
experience pleasure, excitement, and arousal.
Dr.
Fisher says there are three stages of love, and each is driven to a degree by a
particular set of chemicals.
There
is a lot of chemistry involved in feeling attachment, sweaty palms, butterflies
in your stomach, etc.
Take
a look at some of the key biochemical players.
Stage
1: Lust
If
you're feeling eager for a sexual encounter with someone (even if you're not
quite sure who you'll end up with), chances are you're reacting to the sex
hormones testosterone and estrogen.
Both
of these hormones play an important role in increasing libido in both men and
women.
Testosterone
and estrogen are generated as a result of messages from the hypothalamus of the brain.
Testosterone
is a very potent aphrodisiac.
Estrogen
can make women more libidinous around the time they ovulate (when estrogen
levels are at their peak).
Stage
2: Attraction
Lust
is fun, but it may or may not lead to real romance.
If
you do make it to stage 2 in your relationship, though, chemicals become
increasingly important.
On
the one hand, chemicals associated with attraction can make you feel dreamy.
On
the other hand, they can make you feel anxious or obsessive.
People
who are in this early phase of "falling in love" may even sleep less,
or lose their appetite!
· Phenylethylamine or PEA: This is a
chemical that naturally occurs in the brain and is also found in some foods,
such as chocolate.
It
is a stimulant, much like an amphetamine, that causes the release of
norepinephrine and dopamine.
This
chemical is released when you are falling in love. It's responsible for the
head-over-heels, elated part of love.
· Norepinephrine: When PEA causes
this chemical to be released, you feel the effects in the form of sweaty palms
and a pounding heart.
· Dopamine: Dopamine is a
neurochemical that appears to be associated with mate selection.
An
Emory University study found that voles (a type of rodent) chose their mate
based on dopamine release.
When
female voles were injected with dopamine in the presence of a male vole, they
could select him from a group of voles later.
Stage
3: Attachment
Now
that you're really committed to someone else, chemicals help you stay
connected.
· Oxytocin: Dopamine triggers
the release of oxytocin, which is sometimes called the "cuddle
hormone."
In
both genders, oxytocin is released during touching. In women, oxytocin is
released during labor and breastfeeding.
· Serotonin: A chemical that is more prevalent
among people with compulsive disorders, serotonin can increase our dependence
on another person.
· Endorphins: Your brain
acquires a tolerance to the love stimulants and starts to release endorphins.
· The honeymoon is over,
chemically, around 18 months to 4 years into a relationship. However, this isn't
all bad.
· Endorphins are associated with
feelings of attachment and comfort. Endorphins are like opiates. They calm
anxiety, relieve pain and reduce stress.
Anne Marie Helmenstine, Ph.D.
Ph.D. in biomedical sciences from the
University of Tennessee at Knoxville - Oak Ridge National Laboratory.
Science educator with experience
teaching chemistry, biology, astronomy, and physics at the high school,
college, and graduate levels.
ThoughtCo and About Education chemistry
expert since 2001.
Widely-published graphic artist, responsible
for printable periodic tables and other illustrations used in science.
Experience
Anne Helmenstine, Ph.D. has covered
chemistry for ThoughtCo and About Education since 2001, and other sciences
since 2013. She taught chemistry, biology, astronomy, and physics at the high
school, college, and graduate levels. She has worked as a research
scientist and also abstracting and indexing diverse scientific literature for
the Department of Energy.
In addition to her work as a science writer,
Dr. Helmenstine currently serves as a scientific consultant, specializing in
problems requiring an interdisciplinary approach. Previously, she worked
as a research scientist and college professor.
Education
Dr. Helmenstine holds a Ph.D. in biomedical
sciences from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville and a B.A.
in physics and mathematics with a minor in chemistry from Hastings
College. In her doctoral work, Dr. Helmenstine developed ultra-sensitive
chemical detection and medical diagnostic tests.
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https://www.thoughtco.com/the-chemistry-of-love-609354
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