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How Leaders Make
Failure Their Friend
By John Maxwell
What’s your
definition of the word “failure”?
For some people,
failure is a mistake of any kind.
For others, failure
is missing a set goal.
For still others,
failure is a constant state of being, a way of thinking about themselves and
the world.
For leaders,
failure is different.
J. Wallace Hamilton wrote, “The increase in [self-sabotaging
behaviors] is evidence that many people are training for success when they
should be training for failure. Failure is far more common that success;
poverty is more prevalent than wealth; and disappointment more normal than
arrival.”
What’s Hamilton
saying there?
It’s simple: when
you’re a leader, failure is your friend. In leadership, it’s not a
question of if you fail, it’s a question of when — and how you respond.
No successful
person becomes a success without failure. It’s impossible.
There’s no such
thing as a life without setbacks, mess-ups, and flat-out face plants.
If everything
worthwhile is uphill (and it is), it’s inevitable that somewhere along the way
your foot is going slip, or the ground is going to shift beneath you, no matter
how careful you are with your steps.
So how do you make
failure your friend?
It’s like any other
friendship: you develop the relationship over time and with intentionality.
Failure is part of
the leader’s process and being intentional with that process helps ensure a
good return.
Here are three
quick thoughts on this idea.
First, you get
comfortable with failure.
I grew up on the
opposite end of this spectrum. I feared failure.
I remember vividly my first class in college, when the professor
stood up and said, “Half of you in this room will not pass this class.”
I was immediately
seized with fear!
I’d never failed a
class before, and I certainly didn’t want to start with my very first college
course, so I began asking myself: what does the professor want?
I spent the rest of
that semester not learning anything because I was too busy memorizing
everything because that’s what the professor valued.
Had I been
comfortable with the idea of failing, I would’ve approached that class
differently and likely learned something beneficial as a result.
Second, you get
clear about failure.
I’ve touched on
this in the introduction, so I won’t drag the point out here, but having a
healthy definition of what failure is strengthens your attitude toward failing.
My friend, Paul
Martinelli, says that failure is an essential part of the Cycle of Success:
test, fail, learn, improve, re-enter.
In Paul’s book,
failure is the second step to success! What a great — and clear — perspective
about failure.
Third, you get
prepared for failure.
Like I’ve said,
failure is inevitable, so preparing your response is essential.
I love the Cycle of
Success because it tells you that the response to failure is to learn, so what
will you do to learn from your failure?
Make preparations
to glean the lessons from your experience — set aside time to reflect, bring
materials to help you collect your thoughts, and bring some people alongside
you to help you with your thinking.
The only thing
worse than going through failure alone is reflecting on that failure alone; it
sets you up for a trip into dark places that will not serve you well.
Bring people around
you, give them your positive goal, and let others help you discover new
heights.
I’m over 70 years
old, so failure has not only become my friend, it’s become a good friend.
We’re well
acquainted and will spend a lot of time together in the future. I’m no longer
afraid of failure, but I don’t let the specter of failure keep me from doing my
best.
I’ve developed the
right attitude toward failure and that helps me fail forward.
My team has
actually put together a small audio collection called the Quick
Start Guide to Failing Forward that features nine specific
teachings of mine that help you dive deeper into this idea.
I love the idea,
which is why I wanted to share it with you just as it’s getting ready to
launch.
Among other things,
you’ll hear about mistakes I’ve made and lessons I’ve learned, guaranteed ways
to fail, and how exactly to fail forward.
If you’re leading,
you need to make failure your friend because if you make it your enemy, you
won’t get very far.
If you’ve failed
recently, take some time to learn from the experience, and find a way forward.
If you’ve not
failed recently, take some time to prepare your response for when it shows up!
No matter what,
though, keep leading. We need you because we need leaders who know how to take
failure and turn it into something positive.
John Maxwell. Do you have an
unstoppable desire to make a difference in the lives of people? Unsure of where
to start? That’s a snapshot of where I was 50 years ago. My journey began
as a pastor of a small church in Ohio where I learned that leadership started
with developing myself and connecting with others. It wasn’t an easy road and
I’ve worn a lot of hats since those simpler days.
I’ve
always dreamed of impacting the world and changing lives one at a time. I’ve
stayed a student of personal growth and development. Why? Because I believe it
has the power to change us individually, connect communities, be a
catalyst to corporations, and transform countries around the world.
You see,
my passion in life is growing and equipping others to do remarkable things and
lead significant and fulfilled lives.
There’s
no greater mission for me. There’s no higher goal than to help others realize
their significance and potential. That’s why I’ve dedicated my life to what I
believe I do best: teach. I’ve written more than 100 books that have been
translated into fifty languages. I’ve authored several New York Times bestselling
books and was named #1 leadership expert in the world by Inc. Magazine
in 2014.
I also
travel around the world meeting with people of all backgrounds to help them
discover significance. I’ve taught what I know to Fortune 500 company leaders,
university staff and students, church members and community leaders.
