INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING, REMEMBER THESE 10 THINGS - Achievers are sold out to success — no matter the obstacles — and they are willing to put forth the effort and pay the price of success. Can-do leaders search diligently to overcome the obstacles in front of them. Can-do people don’t wait; they initiate. Can-do people abstain from complaining. They recognize its futility and guard their minds and mouths against indulging in this time-wasting activity.

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Instead of Complaining, Remember These 10 Things

John C. Maxwell

A faint but discernible dividing line separates achievers from dreamers. What makes the difference?

Attitude. Achievers have a can-do attitude that sets them apart from mere dreamers.

Achievers are sold out to success — no matter the obstacles — and they are willing to put forth the effort and pay the price of success.

Here are 10 tips to reveal your own can-do attitude:

1.  Disown your helplessness.

Can-do people aggressively pursue solutions, and, in the process, uncover creative solutions others never even try to find. Rather than wallowing in helplessness, can-do leaders search diligently to overcome the obstacles in front of them.

2.  Take the bull by the horns.

Can-do people are fearless. They go straight to the source of their solution. Their very effort commands attention as they wrestle a problem to the ground with expediency. They don’t wait; they initiate.

3.  Enter the no whining zone.

Can-do people abstain from complaining. They recognize its futility and guard their minds and mouths against indulging in this time-wasting activity.

4.  Put on another’s pair of shoes.

Can-do people empathize with others. They attempt to see any predicament from the other person’s perspective in order to make the best decisions.

5.  Nurture your passion.

Can-do people are immune to burnout. They love what they do because they’ve learned how to fuel the fire that keeps them moving. The prize is not given to the person who’s the smartest, nor to the person with the advantages in resources and position, but to the person with passion.

6.  Walk the second mile.

Can-do people exceed expectations. While others settle for an acceptable solution, they aren’t satisfied until they have achieved the unimagined. They set expectations for themselves higher than what is dictated by the people or situations around them.

7.  Quit stewing and start doing.

Can-do people take action. While others are crippled by worry, fear and anxiety, they have the fortitude to press forward. The perfect moment when all is safe and assured may never arrive, so why wait for it?

8.  Go with the flow.

Can-do people can adjust to change. They don’t get caught griping about an unexpected curve in the road. They accept transition with an optimistic outlook.

9.  Follow through to the end.

Can-do people not only initiate, they finish. They are self-starters with the capacity to close the deal.

10. Expect a return as a result of your commitment.

If you make an all-out commitment with a can-do attitude, expect a return. Passionate commitment is contagious, and resources follow resolve. Committed leaders will reap rewards and find open doors as others are drawn to the excitement and energy emanating from them.

John C. Maxwell is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, coach, and speaker who has sold more than 25 million books in fifty languages. In 2014 he was identified as the #1 leader in business by the American Management Association® and the most influential leadership expert in the world by Business Insider and Inc. magazine. As the founder of The John Maxwell Company, The John Maxwell Team, EQUIP, and the John Maxwell Foundation, he has trained more than 5 million leaders. In 2015, he reached the milestone of having trained leaders from every country of the world. The recipient of the Mother Teresa Prize for Global Peace and Leadership from the Luminary Leadership Network, Dr. Maxwell speaks each year to Fortune 500 companies, presidents of nations, and many of the world’s top business leaders. He can be followed on Twitter @JohnCMaxwell.

https://www.success.com/john-c-maxwell-instead-of-complaining-remember-these-10-things/

HOLDING HANDS CAN EASE PAIN - Interpersonal touch can help regulate responses to stress, increasing trust and emotional well-being. From fire-walking rituals and tear-jerker movies to choirs singing, and yes, the ultimate, googly-eyed love stares that make romantic couples, well, even more googly, researchers found evidence that women with highly empathetic partners reported increased pain reduction. The act of hand-holding while in pain, may have a soothing, analgesic effect, like the skin-to-skin touch that is beneficial to premature babies.

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Holding Hands Can Ease Pain

BY SHELLEY DANZY

It's been over 50 years since Beatles John Lennon and Paul McCartney sang "I Want to Hold Your Hand," about just how happy touching made them feel inside.

They probably had no idea that their poppy little ditty had a basis in scientific fact.

According to a February 2018 study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers at the University of Haifa (Israel) have figured out a solution when "lovebirds" are chronically hurting: the transference of empathy and the pain-reducing power of holding hands.

The National Institutes of Health's Center for Complementary and Integrative Health reports that 50 million American adults experience chronic or severe pain.

And while all you need is love, in fact, there are still some 25 million U.S. adults living with daily chronic pain. That's almost as many as the entire population of Texas.

The research team recruited 23 heterosexual romantic couples.

The women, the "pain receivers" in these experiments, received pain stimuli via EEG recordings, under four conditions:

1) alone (without partners);

2) with partners, but without physical contact;

3) holding hands with their partners (the "pain observers") while receiving pain; and

4) holding hands with a stranger.

In the third condition, because of the partner's touch, the women experienced less pain.

It seems that hyperscanning, or this brain-to-brain coupling by the act of hand-holding while in pain, may have a soothing, analgesic effect, like the skin-to-skin touch that is beneficial to premature babies.

In grownups, this interpersonal touch can help regulate responses to stress, increasing trust and emotional well-being.

Since various techniques monitor synchrony, the physiological activity of several people at the same time, empathy is considered to be a key prosocial behavior since social touch increases interpersonal physiological coupling during pain.

Lead researcher Pavel Goldstein penned an article that mentions this physiological activity, an interpersonal synchrony between people as they "take part in extreme or prosaic social situations."

From fire-walking rituals and tear-jerker movies to choirs singing, and yes, the ultimate, googly-eyed love stares that make romantic couples, well, even more googly, researchers found evidence that women with highly empathetic partners reported increased pain reduction.

This study is in line with earlier research which suggests communicating numerous emotions with touch, including decoding anger, fear, love and gratitude.

However, this current study acknowledges that mechanisms identified as social touch analgesia (pain-relief without loss of consciousness), remains widely unknown.

There's more research to be done, for instance, focusing on clinical implications of these findings and even implications of empathy training.

According to Goldstein, "it's unlikely that this research will solve the problem of painkillers."

For now, it's worth a try. Depending on what ails you, you may want to reach for your honey's hand to hold.

NOW THAT'S INTERESTING

One of the very first innate responses an infant displays is a hands-on approach, known as the palmer grasp reflex.  

https://health.howstuffworks.com/human-body/systems/nervous-system/holding-hands-can-ease-pain.htm

Holding hands can actually ease pain, helping to regulate responses to stress, while increasing trust and emotional well-being.