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,
Life isn’t always going
to go our way and that’s okay, it’s what makes life exciting - but If we love
and take care of ourselves, if we pursue our dreams, if we laugh, and focus on
the positives, and if we seek solutions – we will be resilient. Life can throw
anything at us and we’ll be ready - we’ll rise, even if it’s an inch by inch
crawl out of our pain to be happier, more complete, people than we ever were
before
Lori De La Cruz
Life
isn’t easy. Sometimes scars run deep.
People
we love die.
Family,
friends and coworkers say and do cruel things.
Not
everything we want to happen in life, does and often things we don’t want to
happen, do.
We
all have our share of heartache; things that make us question who we are and
what we want from life. Things that leave us stuck.
Yet
some individuals muster the strength to push through. They’re able to rise
above life’s challenges rather than sink. How?
The
answer is RESILIENCE. These individuals have the ability to bounce back from
setbacks to live happier, purpose filled lives.
It’s
something we all aspire to and often all we need is the right mindset.
So,
here are ten ways to build resilience and live happier, fuller lives.
1. Develop
a more positive attitude
This
doesn’t mean ignoring the pain or denying the problem, it means choosing to be
optimistic, choosing to look for the good in each and every situation.
This
is hard in the moment. We all need a good cry and plenty of time to grieve
life’s disappointments, but don’t dwell there forever.
Choose
to see setbacks as isolated incidents. Choose to not beat yourself up — the
world is not out to get us even though it often feels that way.
Instead,
think three positives for every negative.
Choose
to be with positive people who encourage and inspire you, who appreciate and
understand the depths of your soul.
2. Embrace
change
Don’t
be afraid to mix things up: get a new haircut, redecorate a room in the house,
try a new hobby, travel, learn a new language, visit a different museum or
restaurant, switch out the same ‘ole Starbucks drink for a new one.
The
point is, live. Try new things. Allow yourself to be open and willing to new
people, new ideas, and new adventures.
The
less resistant we are to change, the easier it becomes when something
unexpected shatters our lives — and it will.
Life
is full of change. Expect it. Welcome it. Don’t let a fear of change numb all
the good life has to offer.
3. Face
problems head on
Denial
leads to hopelessness whereas problem solving leads to solutions and helps us
feel a sense of control.
Take
time to reflect and then brainstorm a list of solutions. Be creative. Find more
than one.
Ask
others for help, preferably people who have been in the same situation or who
know you well.
Allow
yourself to be practical and impractical before narrowing solutions down. Then
Act.
Remember:
it’s your choice to stay in a miserable situation. Don’t just pretend the
problem isn’t there. Do something.
Feeling
Stuck in the Middle of a Challenge?
And
for problems that don’t seem to have a solution. Reflect. Pray. Meditate.
There
are some problems we cannot fix. Some things we cannot change. Some wounds that
will not heal.
Sometimes,
all we need is time. And an ability to press on in spite of it all.
4. Forgive
yourself
Shame
kills joy. We all make mistakes.
Rather
than destroying your future with your past, give yourself grace.
Who
you were. What you’ve done. It’s history. Don’t let it rob you of your life.
Don’t give it power.
Ask
for forgiveness and let it go. You deserve grace and compassion. Believe that.
Believe you are worthy.
Beating
yourself up year after year doesn’t change the past nor does it heal you.
Learn
from your mistakes. Encourage others. Only then can you truly be free.
5. Pursue
your dreams
Learn
what excites you, what motivates you, and go after it. Set short- and long-term
goals.
Make
a plan. Put it on the calendar. Stay focused.
Following
our dreams builds confidence and provides a sense of purpose.
If
you’re unsure what enlivens you, see a career counselor.
Don’t
sit around waiting for your dreams to find you. Work toward them. Take action.
A
step forward is always closer to your dreams than no step.
And
when roadblocks slow you down, which they will — fight. Work hard and don’t
give up. Nothing worth having ever comes easy.
6. Seek
support from someone you trust
Sometimes
life is just too hard, far too messy to take on alone.
We
all need an extra shoulder to cry on, someone we can rely on, who will help us
see through our fog.
We
all need someone who understands us, who won’t judge us, who will help us succeed
at life.
Whether
it’s a friend, family member, pastor, or therapist, find a person who’s been
there, who can help you feel less alone.
They’ll
equip you with tools to achieve your goals and face adversity.
7. Make
yourself a priority
Exercise.
Eat healthy. Dance. Take nature walks. Paint.
Whatever
lifts you out of the fog, do it. All these activities will help boost energy
and self-esteem.
Get
a good night’s sleep. Enjoy a bubble bath. Get a massage. Read a favorite book.
Whatever it may be, make it a priority.
If
we expect to take on life’s challenges, we’ve got to build ourselves up, spoil
ourselves, show ourselves some compassion.
Taking
care of oneself, nurturing one’s soul, will boost confidence and ready us for
whatever challenges life brings.
8. Laugh
often
Laughter
really is the best medicine.
When
times get tough — laugh! It helps us gain perspective. Breaks us free from our
prison of despair.
Watch
a funny show. Read a comic. Hang out with friends who make you laugh, who’ll
help you not take yourself so seriously.
9. Show
yourself love
Our
perception of ourselves, positive or negative, determines our behavior.
If
we believe we are unworthy, we act that way.
But
who we are is not determined by others. It is determined by us, by our own
inner thoughts.
We
alone destroy ourselves — from within. With lies we tell ourselves. With past
pain and words that echo through our mind.
So
be compassionate. Each morning, look in the mirror and give praise.
Say
three positive truths. Force yourself to do it even if it seems cheesy.
The
world is not always kind; if we depend on others for approval, we’ll be waiting
a long time.
10.
Don’t compete with others
We
run our own race. It’s that simple.
Look
for self-improvements. Set new goals. Dwell on your accomplishments.
If
we’re always striving to beat So and So, we risk losing ourselves.
Comparing
our life to others never brings happiness or contentment. We’ll only feel more
out of control.
There
will always be someone richer, prettier, smarter, more athletic, healthier,
etc. so the only person we should compete with is our past self.
Life
isn’t always going to go our way and that’s okay, it’s what makes life
exciting.
But
If we love and take care of ourselves, if we pursue our dreams, if we laugh,
and focus on the positives, and if we seek solutions – we will be resilient.
Life
can throw anything at us and we’ll be ready.
We’ll
rise, even if it’s an inch by inch crawl out of our pain to be happier, more
complete, people than we ever were before.
Lori De La Cruz. Lover of polar bears and iced coffee, Lori writes
children's books, travels, and aspires to be fearless. She's young at heart,
old in soul.
https://www.lifehack.org/322108/live-life-the-fullest
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